Living in the moment

We’ve all experienced those familiar, frustrating situations: you’re stuck in traffic, or your flight’s been delayed, and you can feel stress rising as your whole day’s plan unravels. Or maybe a colleague gives you unexpected feedback on your work, and before you know it, you feel defensive. Then there’s the difficulty of trying to adopt new, healthier habits — whether it’s changing your diet or starting an exercise routine — and finding it tough to face the discomfort of change.

These scenarios can stir up stress, worry, or resistance, and our natural reaction is often to resist, avoid, or overthink. But while it’s normal to feel these emotions, forcing ourselves to ignore or suppress them rarely leads to relief. Instead, the key to managing these reactions is something called psychological flexibility.

Understanding psychological flexibility

Psychological flexibility is simply the ability to stay present, adapt to challenges, and make choices aligned with our values — even in tough situations. It involves being open to a range of emotions and thoughts, including the uncomfortable ones, while choosing to respond in a way that reflects what’s important to us. Research shows that people who develop psychological flexibility experience less stress and anxiety, handle challenges more confidently, and enjoy more satisfying relationships and overall well-being (Barrios et al., 2006).

Why does a flexible mindset matter?

Having a flexible mindset isn’t just about coping better with stress. Psychological flexibility opens the door to greater mental and emotional well-being, stronger relationships, and a more resilient attitude toward life’s ups and downs. Being open to new experiences encourages personal growth and adaptation, which helps us face change in healthier ways. And with better tools for managing stress, our overall quality of life naturally improves.

Building a flexible mindset: Six core practices

Psychological flexibility can be developed with self-awareness and a few essential practices. Here are six core techniques that can help you build a more flexible, resilient mindset.

1. Stay in the present

Often, our stress comes from either focusing on what went wrong in the past or worrying about what might happen in the future. Staying in the present helps us engage more fully in what’s happening right now, which is the only moment we can truly influence. Practicing mindfulness — through meditation, deep breathing, or even brief moments of stillness — can build this awareness, helping you become more attuned to your emotions, thoughts, and surroundings.

2. Accept what you’re feeling

Many of us try to avoid or “get rid of” uncomfortable feelings, but pushing them away can actually make them more intense. Acceptance means allowing ourselves to feel the full range of our emotions without judging them as good or bad. This approach helps us process emotions naturally, and with less resistance, we can let go of the struggle and adapt more easily to changes.

3. Clarify your values

Understanding what truly matters to you — your core values — can help guide your actions in challenging times. Unlike goals, which are specific outcomes (like finishing a project or saving for a vacation), values are the principles that matter deeply to you, such as compassion, integrity, or self-care. Aligning your actions with your values makes it easier to navigate life’s ups and downs while staying true to yourself.

4. Separate thoughts from reality

Our thoughts can be powerful, but they don’t always reflect the whole truth. Often, a single negative thought can spiral into self-doubt or worry. For example, thinking “I forgot that email — I’m so disorganized” can quickly snowball into “People will see me as unreliable.” Practicing cognitive defusion — distancing yourself from these thoughts — can help you view them as temporary and not as a reflection of your identity. This separation allows you to engage with thoughts more neutrally and reduces the likelihood of getting caught in a cycle of negativity.

5. Reframe your identity

It’s easy to let past experiences or mistakes shape how we see ourselves. But holding on to labels like “I’m a failure” or “I’m not good at this” only keeps us stuck. Reframing how we view our identity — seeing it as something flexible and evolving — helps us move beyond self-judgment. Instead of letting a mistake define us, we can see it as one part of a larger journey. Embracing this broader view of ourselves brings a sense of freedom, enabling us to learn from our experiences without getting trapped in them.

6. Take action based on your values

The final step is to put your values into action. When faced with a challenge or difficult emotion, take a moment to pause and ask, “What response aligns with what truly matters to me?” Acting with intention helps you make decisions that resonate with your values, allowing you to handle even tough moments with clarity and authenticity. Committed action based on values doesn’t eliminate pain or discomfort, but it reduces the added suffering that comes from resisting or struggling with the experience.

Moving forward with flexibility

Psychological flexibility is a powerful approach to handling life’s challenges with resilience and calm. By staying present, accepting our feelings, clarifying our values, and taking intentional actions, we gain more control over our lives and lessen the impact of stress. Developing a flexible mindset also enables us to respond to difficult situations in ways that feel true to who we are.

If you’re looking to develop psychological flexibility, whether it’s managing stress, making thoughtful decisions, or building emotional resilience, Learning Curve is here to help. Our programs support students, teachers, and parents in cultivating self-awareness, acceptance, and intentional living. By embracing psychological flexibility, you’re not only preparing to face life’s challenges but also creating a path toward a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

References

• Kashdan, T. B., & Rottenberg, J. (2010). Psychological flexibility as a fundamental aspect of health. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(7), 865–878.
• ScienceDirect. (n.d.). Psychological flexibility. Psychology topics.
• The Weekend University. (n.d.). Psychological flexibility: The superpower of mental health and wellbeing.